Wednesday, February 26, 2020
Sunday, February 23, 2020
Sunday, February 16, 2020
Saturday, February 8, 2020
good enough
I sit silently
across the room as I
glance secretly at his face
he rarely looks up from his cup
of sweet smiles
I know this much because
I watch him
I’m curious about him
Sometimes
I wonder if I’m good enough
I doubt myself
because he reminds me of perfection
he is intimidating and humbling
how can one be so rare
and boldly walk the earth
I sit silently
across the room
keeping my feelings bottled tight
I dream of getting lost in his eyes
I dream of tasting his kiss
I dream of becoming one with his flesh
these are my thoughts
I’m thinking
dreams are harmless
but I can’t ignore these feelings
as time passes
I become familiar with his moves
I become intoxicated by his voice
his smile is forever imprinted in my mind
I watch him walk in and out of time
how I wish he would take time
with me
we become close
close enough to feel his heartbeat
silently I wait
finally
he notices me
we exchange smiles
it feels good
he whispers to me
at that moment
I knew I was good enough
for him
now
we sit silently together
he has his cup
and I’m writing this poem
life is simple
life is good
it becomes easy
He remembered to call
Yet
I forgot to answer
Damn
I feel twisted
Tight and tangled like a barbed wire fence
Stable and sound
Not with any intent
To cut and scrape
But I do
Nothing but bags full
Of bandages and gauze so readily available
As if
I planned it all from the beginning
Something like that crazy bitch from Gone Girl
And so very different
So now what
I resume from the part where I paused
My life just because I can and I do
I move in and out of time
Blocking punches and curving emotional attachment
They say...it becomes easy
Running away
Staying is hard but leaving is not an option
It’s like I want to smoke a cigarette but I don’t smoke
I know it’s not healthy but what is
We guard ourselves from imaginary threats
And so blindly fall into pits of snakes
Now I’m rambling
But I’m always poetic
Maybe one day I’ll call back
And he’ll remember why he wanted me
We’ll act as if nothing ever happened between us
And that too will be okay and furthest from the truth
Friday, February 7, 2020
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